Highly Sensitive People (HSP): What are they and how can you cope as one?
“If I’m not between a three and a seven on the emotional scale, I’m crying.”
Do you remember that line from Kristen Bell when she was on Ellen describing how her husband surprised her with a sloth – her favorite animal – for her birthday? If you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the full video.
Sure, the video’s hysterical. And I love, love, love that Kristen doesn’t take herself too seriously.
But there’s another lesson here. One that gets at why Kristen – and many of us – react in certain ways in overwhelming emotional situations. Whether by crying or otherwise visibly showing emotion (along with a ton of other factors), about 15 – 20% of us have a trait (not a disorder or disease) that makes us a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
Are you a HSP?
Do any of these characteristics apply to you?
- You feel more deeply.
- You’re more emotionally reactive.
- Do you often hear “Don’t take things so personally” or “Why are you so sensitive?”
- You prefer to exercise solo.
- You take longer to make a decision.
- You get more upset (than the “average” person) if you make a “wrong” decision.
- You’re extremely detail-oriented.
- You can be either an introvert or an extrovert.
- You work well in team environments.
- You’re prone to anxiety or depression.
- You can be annoyed by sounds or lights that don’t bother others.
- Violent movies or shows bother you.
- You cry more easily.
- You have above-average manners.
- Criticism bothers you.
- You prefer a solo work environment.
(Read more about each HSP characteristic above here.)
My Story
As I’ve gotten older, all of these have applied to me. Every. Single. One. So I finally decided to do some research. That’s what I do when something’s bothering me. Research. Because putting a name to something or, more importantly, understanding something better is the key to sorting a matter out for me. As they say, knowledge is power.
The older I get, the more I’ve noticed changes in my emotional state. I’ve gone from the girl that was called insensitive to others’ feelings to the one who is oversensitive to them. I’ve gone from being able to take critique well to having it sting a little more. I’ve gone from barely showing emotions to wearing them on my sleeve. I’ve had episodes of anxiety and depression that I never used to have (but that I’ve since combatted). I never used to cry much…and now I do easily. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become more and more intuitive.
I’ve always been a person that takes time to make a decision, thinking every possibility through. I’ve always avoided conflict, but become more of a people-pleaser of late. I’ve always thought through things more deeply than it feels like others do around me, more mindful than most. I’ve always been more aware of my surroundings than the average person. I’ve always been deeply moved by artistic expression. I’ve always enjoyed working with a team and solo. I’ll cry instantly if I see a physical fight – in person or in a movie.
So again, I saw everything in the list above in me. So I made a choice: I wanted to understand this trait I seem to possess better.
If you’re a HSP
Let’s start with the good. Here’s a great article about why Highly Sensitive People are awesome.
There’s really no bad or ugly, but there are certain ways to cope. As highly sensitive people, we see the world differently than other people. Rather, we feel the world differently than other people. Now that I understand HSP better, I find it a gift rather than an emotional crutch. My experiences in life will always be richer and more profound; sure, they’ll also be more emotionally crippling at times, too.
After doing a ton of reading on the subject, here are the tips and tricks that stood out the best for me:
- Meditate. This is important because it can help you assess what’s going on – and fix it – more quickly. When something feels off – whether you’re mad, upset, frustrated, etc. – a quick body scan can help you figure out what’s wrong.
- Know your triggers. If you’re overly sensitive to the physical world around you – like loud noises or large crowds – do things to either avoid them or work through them.
- Learn how to calm your nervous system. Use exercise and other methods to (literally) calm your body.
Additional resources
- 15 Tips for Empaths and Highly Sensitive People
- Coping Strategies from Dr. Ted Zeff: relaxation and organizational tips from one of the leading therapists on HSPs
- More Coping Tips for Highly Sensitive People: this post outlines specific senses and how to cope in a more physically sensitive way
- Top 10 Survival Tips for the HSP
If someone you love is a HSP
Rather than reinvent the wheel, I’m going to link to some really great posts already created on these topics:
- How to Deal with a Highly Sensitive Person: more helpful advice for friends and family
- Letter to Friends and Family of a Highly Sensitive Person: a great letter for friends and family of HSPs; you can either share directly or change to make it your own!
Learn More About HSP
If you’re interested in doing some heavy duty reading, Dr. Ted Zeff and Dr. Elaine Aron both specialize in HSP therapy and have extensive and amazing resources on their websites. I’ve also purchased books from both of them, so will plan on reviewing those once I’ve finished!
Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Many thanks, However I am encountering issues with your RSS.
I don’t know why I am unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody
else having similar RSS issues? Anyone who knows
the solution will you kindly respond? Thanx!!
There’s definately a great deal to find out about this issue.
I really like all of the points you have made.
This is the perfect website for anybody who wishes to understand this topic.
You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really will need to…HaHa).
You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that’s been written about for a long time.
Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!
This article will assist the internet people for creating new
weblog or even a weblog from start to end.
I got this web page from my buddy who told me regarding this web page and now this time I am visiting this site and reading very informative articles here.
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I
appreciate you penning this article plus the rest of the site is also really good.
Admiring the commitment you put into your website and in depth information you offer.
It’s great to come across a blog every once in a
while that isn’t the same unwanted rehashed information. Excellent read!
I’ve saved your site and I’m including your RSS feeds
to my Google account.
Appreciate the recommendation. Will try it out.
Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
I mean, what you say is important and all. But imagine if
you added some great images or videos to give your posts more, “pop”!
Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this blog could certainly be one of the very best in its field.
Great blog!
Simply want to say your article is as astounding. The clarity for your
publish is simply spectacular and i can assume you are an expert in this subject.
Well together with your permission let me to take hold of your
RSS feed to stay up to date with drawing close post.
Thank you 1,000,000 and please carry on the rewarding work.
I just want to tell you that I am just beginner to weblog and honestly liked your website. Very likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You definitely have awesome article content. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web site.
If you are going for most excellent contents like I do, simply visit
this web site daily for the reason that it offers feature contents, thanks
A person produced a few exceptional points there. My partner and i examined on the web for that concern and located most individuals goes in addition to along with your blog.
Hi, It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
After research just a few of the weblog posts on your website now, and I actually like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and can be checking back soon. Pls try my website online as well and let me know what you think.
You made some decent points there. I looked on the net for the issue and discovered most people may go as well as with your internet site.
I was curious if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.
I gotta bookmark this internet site it seems very beneficial very beneficial.
I am not very excellent with English but I find this really easygoing to interpret .
Thank you spending some time to talk about the following, I’m boldy a lot and even true love studying more to do with now this topic. However, if future, when you realize know-how, do you ever thoughts bringing up-to-date all your webpage that have a lot more stuff? This is useful for my family.
Maintain working, nice post! It was the actual goods I desired to obtain.
Somebody essentially lend a hand to make severely posts I’d state. That is the very first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to make this particular submit extraordinary. Fantastic task!
“I got what you mean , appreciate it for posting .Woh I am thankful to find this website through google. Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up by itself. by Woodrow Wilson.”
I would like to add to that statement,but I fear your wrath Sheila, lol! Permission to speak please ; )
Have you noticed the news has changed its approach recently? What used to neve be brought up or discussed has changed. It’s that time to chagnge our stance on this though.
We still cannot quite believe Possible come to be those types of staring at the important points located on your blog post. His dad and so i are sincerely thankful with regards to your generosity and then for giving me possibility pursue our chosen profession path. Wanted info I purchased belonging to the web-site.
Assuredly Good. Can’t imagine how strong this information thread actually is. This could be one of the most helpful blogrolls i have ever come across on this topic. Basically wonderful article! I’m also an expert in this subject matter so I can appreciate your effort.
Hi there, just got aware about your blog site through The Big G, and realized that it’s seriously useful. I will take pleasure in if you decide to retain this approach.
Your blog was tweeted by a friend yesterday. Decided I’d take a look. Best decision ever.
MetroClick specializes in building completely interactive products like Photo Booth for rental or sale, Touch Screen Kiosks, Large Touch Screen Displays , Monitors, Digital Signages and experiences. With our own hardware production facility and in-house software development teams, we are able to achieve the highest level of customization and versatility for Photo Booths, Touch Screen Kiosks, Touch Screen Monitors and Digital Signage. Visit MetroClick in NYC at http://www.metroclick.com/ or , 121 Varick St, New York, NY 10013, +1 646-843-0888
I precisely wished to thank you very much yet again. I am not sure the things that I might have accomplished without the type of creative concepts discussed by you directly on such area. It seemed to be a very challenging problem for me, but coming across a specialised approach you managed that took me to weep with gladness. Now i’m happy for the information and as well , hope that you know what a great job your are doing teaching many others through the use of a site. More than likely you’ve never got to know all of us.
It truly is mostly extremely difficult to see well-advised users on this issue, however you look like you be aware of which you’re writing about! Thanks
Faytech North America is a touch screen Manufacturer of both monitors and pcs. They specialize in the design, development, manufacturing and marketing of Capacitive touch screen, Resistive touch screen, Industrial touch screen, IP65 touch screen, touchscreen monitors and integrated touchscreen PCs. Contact them at http://www.faytech.us, 121 Varick Street, New York, NY 10013, +1 646 205 3214
Perhaps you should also a put a forum site on your blog to increase reader interaction.`,:;*
This website was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found
something which helped me. Many thanks!
What’s up colleagues, pleasant paragraph and fastidious urging
commented at this place, I am in fact enjoying by these.
It is usually proper opportunity to have some options for the foreseeable future. I have scan this piece of writing and if I have the ability to, I want to recommend you handful worthwhile tips and advice.
It really is nearly extremely difficult to come across well-qualified individual on this niche, although you come across as like you are familiar with exactly what you’re raving about! Regards
I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your site.
It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more
often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?
Exceptional work!
Emery EPS is a Search Engine Optimization company that provides SEO Services. Their proprietary SEO strategies help struggling websites and aspiring business owners to rank their websites higher in multiple search engines like Google , Yahoo and Bing. They provide local and gmb map ranking for businesses in Coasta Rica, New York, Los Angeles, Portland, Sacramento, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Denver, Houston, California and many other local areas. Find more at https://www.emeryeps.com.
Wow, fantastic blog layout! How lengthy have you ever been running a blog for?
you make blogging look easy. The whole look of your web site is magnificent, as well as the
content material!
Might be practically not possible to see well-advised women and men on this issue, yet somehow you come across as like you be aware of what exactly you’re raving about! With Thanks
Genuinely no matter if someone doesn’t be aware of after that
its up to other people that they will assist, so
here it occurs.
Emery EPS is a Search Engine Optimization company that provides SEO Services. Their proprietary SEO strategies help struggling websites and aspiring business owners to rank their websites higher in multiple search engines like Google , Yahoo and Bing. They provide local and gmb map ranking for businesses in Coasta Rica, New York, Los Angeles, Portland, Sacramento, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Denver, Houston, California and many other local areas. Find more at https://www.emeryeps.com.
Excellent article. I’m experiencing some of these issues as well..
Genuinely absorbing resources you’ll have mentioned, thank you so much for setting up.
It really is mostly not possible to come across well-advised parties on this content, then again you seem like you fully grasp what exactly you’re covering! Many Thanks
Might be practically unattainable to encounter well-advised users on this area, yet somehow you appear like you know the things you’re writing about! Gratitude
Good morning here, just started to be alert to your post through Search engine, and have found that it’s pretty helpful. I’ll value in the event you keep up these.
I just intend to share it with you that I am new to blog posting and clearly adored your article. More than likely I am inclined to bookmark your blog post . You simply have superb article information. Delight In it for swapping with us your favorite internet site page
You’ll find it nearly impossible to find well-advised individual on this theme, however , you look like you realize what exactly you’re indicating! Appreciate It
I really have to inform you you that I am new to online blogging and very much loved your page. Probably I am likely to save your blog post . You really have lovely article materials. Value it for telling with us your main internet site webpage
I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? This post posted at this web page is truly pleasant.
natalielise pof
Hiya there, just turned out to be alert to your web page through yahoo, and found that it’s really educational. I’ll truly appreciate if you carry on this approach.
Thanks very nice blog!
I really intend to advise you that I am new to putting up a blog and utterly adored your site. Very likely I am probably to store your blog post . You undoubtedly have impressive article information. Delight In it for share-out with us your very own url page
It’s actually near close to impossible to find well-aware users on this issue, even though you come across as like you be aware of the things that you’re indicating! Appreciation
Hiya here, just became aware about your article through Google, and discovered that it’s really informative. I’ll truly appreciate should you continue on these.
It’s actually almost not possible to come across well-advised women and men on this subject, however, you look like you know those things you’re indicating! Thanks
I just hope to reveal to you that I am new to blogging and extremely adored your work. Very likely I am going to bookmark your blog post . You undoubtedly have extraordinary article material. Appreciate it for discussing with us your main site post
Very significant data you have mentioned, thanks a lot for posting.
Very informative specifics you’ll have remarked, thanks for putting up.
Hello here, just started to be alert to your wordpress bog through The Big G, and found that it is pretty useful. I’ll value should you continue such.
I merely have to reveal to you that I am new to posting and extremely liked your work. Quite possibly I am probably to remember your blog post . You really have fantastic article blog posts. Get Pleasure From it for telling with us the best web page
My brother recommended I may like this web site.
He used to be totally right. This submit truly made my day.
You cann’t imagine just how so much time I had spent for this info!
Thank you!
It certainly is mostly unthinkable to see well-advised individual on this theme, nevertheless you seem like you realize what exactly you’re indicating! Gratitude
Hi, this weekend is pleasant in favor of me, since this point in time i am
reading this great informative paragraph here at my house.
You actually make it appear so easy along with your presentation but
I to find this topic to be really one thing which I think I might never understand.
It seems too complicated and very vast for me. I am looking forward in your subsequent put up, I will try to get the dangle of it!
natalielise plenty of fish
You produced some decent points there. I looked on the net to the issue and discovered most people goes together with along with your website.
Like!! Really appreciate you sharing this blog post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
I like this website its a master peace ! Glad I found this on google .
Me like, will read more. Thanks!
Great article to check out, glad that duckduck brought me here, Keep Up nice job
Respect to website author , some wonderful entropy.
Hiya! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured
I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest
authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My blog covers a lot
of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from
each other. If you are interested feel free to send me an e-mail.
I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog by the way!
Some truly fine stuff on this web site , appreciate it for contribution.
I simply want to mention I am just newbie to weblog and really liked your blog site. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your site . You absolutely come with amazing articles and reviews. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web site.
Some truly wow article on this web site , appreciate it for contribution.
Just wish to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity for your
post is simply spectacular and i could suppose you are a professional
in this subject. Well together with your permission allow me to seize your
feed to stay updated with approaching post. Thanks a million and please keep
up the rewarding work.
Yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a risky decision outstanding post! .
I love reading through and I believe this website got some genuinely utilitarian stuff on it! .
Hello! This is my first visit to your blog!
We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the
same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a outstanding job!