Why It’s Time To Give Up on the Idea of Being Perfect
Have you ever had the perfect day?
I’m talking about the kind of day where you feel like superwoman…
You’re the perfect mom.
The perfect spouse.
The perfect boss or employee.
The perfect fitness queen.
The perfect host.
The perfect cook.
The perfect cleaner…and so on.
I know…it already sounds too good to be true. But we’ve all had a day like that. A day that felt perfect. Like we actually had it all figured out. A day of perfect balance.
Yup…you already know it’s bullshit.
I think I listed out one too many “perfects” for this perfect day. (And you’re too smart to fall for that.)
The reality? On a good day, you’re…
The okayest mom.
The okayest spouse.
The okayest boss or employee.
The okayest fitness queen.
The okayest host, the okayest cook.
The okayest cleaner…and so on.
And guess what? That’s OK. In fact, it’s more than OK.
5 Reasons Why It’s Time To Give Up on Perfection
I’ve spent many – too many – days chasing after the perfect day. The day where I feel exquisitely and almost effortlessly balanced in every aspect of my life.
But guess what? Those days are few and far between…even when we’re doing all the “right” things. So I’m going to urge you now to make the same change I am: let’s drop the search for “perfect.”
1. Perfectionism is a myth
I want you to take a moment and really think about the premise of perfection. What does the perfect day or the perfect email or even the perfect outfit look like to you?
My definition? Error free, completely aligned, exquisitely balanced.
Guess how often that can actually occur?
Guess how many books get published with spelling or grammatical errors. Guess how many well-meaning moms snap at their kids. Guess how many dietitians or fitness coaches go off their “perfect’ regimen.
Get it straight now: perfectionism is a myth. It does not exist.
2. The stars will align…but not all the time
Of course, there will always be those days where the moon is at exactly the right phase, you are genuinely aligned in your truth and purpose, and everything goes just the way you want it to.
Those are wonderful, beautiful, magical days. But they aren’t the stuff that life is made of.
Life is made of messy, challenging, and sometimes disastrous days. And you know what? Those are actually the best days…because we get to learn something from them. We get to learn something about ourselves from them.
3. “Perfect” is fear-based
One of the best things I learned from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic? Perfectionism comes from a place of fear.
The need for things to be perfect puts you in a fear-based mindset because it basically puts you in a flight response.
You’re simply too afraid of something not being perfect, so instead of even trying, you give up or put it away “for later.”
4. Done is better than perfect
I also learned in Big Magic – and elsewhere – that done is better than perfect.
Gasp! My perfectionist soul recoils upon hearing that. Done? Better than perfect?!
I know, it’s hard to hear. But it’s true.
If you want things to be perfect all the time, they’ll never get done. After all, since nothing is ever perfect, how can it be done?
Put another way: the blog that you’ve always wanted to create but haven’t because it’s not perfect? It’s sitting somewhere lonely on the internet just longing to be published.
The *insert whatever dream you have here* that you’ve been longing for but haven’t tried/launched/started because you weren’t in the perfect place yet? It’s never going to get done if you don’t drop the perfectionism fear.
5. You can’t have the yang without the yin
I’ve talked about the magic of balance before and how you can’t truly appreciate the best out of life (the “perfect”) without the worst of life.
In other words, we can’t have a perfect day every day (if ever) because it wouldn’t actually feel perfect to us. Instead, it’d just be a day.
Sprinkle plenty of imperfect days amongst the near perfect ones and suddenly you’re able to appreciate your best days because of the bad ones. You can’t have the yang without the yin.
If you’re a struggling perfectionist, I feel you girl. I’m right there with you.
But let’s make each other a promise here and now, shall we? Let’s push back on the fear and the myth of perfection so that we can have a little yin and yang and go after our dreams?
How’s that for perfect?!
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