The Self-Confidence Problem: A Look A Women & Confidence In 2014

Recently at cheer practice, I asked my girls this question: What gives you confidence?

Many of them gave me a cheerleading-related answer – being strong, feeling fit, getting a tough stunt. Others shared unrelated ways, like getting a compliment.

It got me to thinking…do many of us really know what gives us confidence? Is it something tangible enough that you can even explain it if you wanted to?

It starts with “beauty.”

What the world believes a beautiful woman looks like has changed drastically over the years thanks to PhotoShop, magazines, the media, etc. 

You’ve probably seen a lot of articles recently about women and confidence, specifically when it comes to the way we look. Whether it’s the curvy girl talking about why she won’t allow the world to call her fat, or the Mom that refuses to allow her daughter to think she’s anything but beautiful, or the celebrity who calls out a magazine for over-PhotoShopping her already-gorgeous figure.

They’re all legitimate. How sad is it that so many young girls and women feel ashamed of themselves because of they way they look?

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Low self-confidence is a problem.

All of this talk about beauty and what we look like on the outside – especially as women – is causing a major low self-confidence issue.

I look around at my college-aged cheerleaders or the young girls in the 3rd grade class where I volunteer and see it everywhere. Each and every single one of them has judged the way they look based on the “way they should look.” And I’m no different…there have been plenty of times I wished a body part looked different or more like her over there.

Why do we do this to ourselves?! Can we not appreciate the unique qualities we do possess?

“Be confident” is not the answer.

Sure, you can tell a woman, “oh, just be confident.” But that’s not self-confidence happens. It has to be grown and tended to…it won’t just happen over-night.

So back to the original question…

What gives you confidence?

This is where we should be starting. Sure, you’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. None of us are perfect. There are always going to be things we wish were different about ourselves.

Rather than focus on the bad, let’s start focusing on the good: those things that do give you confidence.

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