Men & The Truth About Insecurities: 4 Insecurities Guys Have [Guest Blogpost]

I wrote about insecurities awhile back, and now we’re going to get the male version on the same topic. At the end of the day, we’re all human, and insecurities are apart of being human. The following is a guest blogpost by my good friend, Zac Bean.

When I started writing, I promised myself one thing: “to thine own self, be true.” It seems like a simple concept but sometimes I think it is easier to lie to yourself than to the people who know you best. I have a very close knit group of friends and I’ve learned that I can fool myself better than the people around me. I wanted to write about something that rings true to me and I am sure most guys out there, I want to talk about insecurities. I know every guy wants to come off tough and  nothing can shake them.

I will be the first to admit that it’s tough to reflect on personal insecurities. I, for one, have always tried to project an image where I have none. But to be true to myself I admit I have many and deal with that struggle everyday. The reason I share this is that I don’t think it always resonates with the females out there: men have insecurities, too. I am a 27-year old single, semi-successful, moderately attractive guy. I don’t want people to think I am selling myself short or being self deprecating; I am confident in who I am and what I have to offer, but sometimes I think there is a certain persona and/or image I have to keep up because I am a guy.

So I am going to be blunt and forward about insecurities; these are all things I am working on.

1. We’re not as tough as you think

Guys are not at tough as girls think, I dwell and worry about the same thing you do. We think things like: Is she into me? Does she find me attractive? What does she want out of this because I don’t want to get hurt? I can only speak for myself, but anytime I meet a new girl, these are questions I ask. Don’t think you are the only one.

2. We can be jealous

I am not a jealous person but when it comes to someone I care about, all bets are off. This is something I realized recently: that when you care about someone, even if you aren’t a jealous person, you may become one.

3. We can be vulnerable

We both want to be upfront and honest, but neither men nor women want to be the first to be vulnerable. I assume this is because neither of us want to get hurt, so we don’t want to put ourselves out there. Rather, we’ll wait for the other person to do so.

4. We are afraid to be ourselves sometimes

In college, I felt I had a certain reputation or image to keep up. I felt I could never truly be myself around certain people. I always felt people expected me a certain type or one way, when in reality it wasn’t who I am. We want to be accepted and sometimes we conform to that image. In reality, we should be who we are and the people who matter will accept us for who we are.

If I learned one thing in my 27 years, it is there are no rules or guidelines. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, you will be thrown for a loop. If I could pass on any advice it would be go with it and take each situation as an experience as a unique opportunity to learn and it will all work it self out.