How to Build Resilience

Are you a naturally resilient person? Or do you need to work at it?

First, let’s take a step back and talk about…

What is Resilience?

the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties

Recovering after a misstep, grief, or “failure” is an imperative skill for all of us. After all, in many respects, life is about the journey (and how many times you pick yourself back up).

How can you become more resilient? 

Building resilience is not a one-day fix, but rather something that takes time.

In general, you can’t always control what happens in your life on a day-to-day basis. You may wake up with a flat tire or you may get a bad report from your doctor. Life happens sometimes just happens.

What we can control, however, is our outlook and how we respond to adverse situations. We can maintain our attitude and we can choose to find a silver lining in a negative case. 

Here’s how to be more resilient.

Surround yourself with the right people.

The people you surround yourself with and listen to daily matters. If all you hear from day to day is negative thoughts, you will succumb to the negativity. Choose positive-minded people to create a support system with people you can trust that will bring your peace of mind, rather than feed anxiety or negativity.

Let people help you.

As humans, especially in a very independent world, we’re guilty of shutting people out and building a wall around ourselves and our emotions. Allow people to help you. If someone is offering to help you with something, welcome the help. 

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Help others.

Helping others can give you a sense of purpose or help you remember your purpose. If someone can benefit from your experiences, share your experience with them. 

Forgive those that have done you wrong.

Letting go of grudges and bitterness will help you build resilience to negativity. It’s so easy to hold on to things when we’ve been hurt or wronged by someone.

However, this often doesn’t affect the offender, but will rather cause you to build up anger — often taking it out on the people you are close to. Letting go of bitterness can be powerful in building up resilience. 

Try journaling.

Working though thoughts through writing can help you process your true feelings. It can lead to deeper truths about yourself, taking on new perspectives, and even working through major issues more quickly.


Ultimately, you have to show yourself compassion when it comes to being more resilient. Don’t expect to feel completely better or ready to try something again right away.

Instead, give yourself grace and patience and you’ll slowly build your resilience.

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