Dear: 2011. Love: Nicki.

Dear 2011,

Screw you.

You’ve been a bitch of a year and I’m not happy with you. You’ve made me confused about who I am, concerned on who I’ve become, and just plain flabbergasted on who I want to be.

But at the same time…thank you. What are the good years without a few bad ones? I’ve had more unhappy days during your time than I’d care to say. And during that time, I’ve learned a lot – maybe the hard way – but it’s been thanks to you.

I’ve learned that…

I can’t live without being close to my family. They mean everything to me and I tear up every single time I think about them from afar.

My friends mean everything. I’ve met some amazing people throughout my life thus far and I don’t intend on letting them go any time soon.

My coworkers are amongst the most amazing people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and I don’t intend on leaving them any time soon…especially when they’ve become my second family.

I have a son…a brat at times (and a dog), but a son, nonetheless…and I love him more than I can say.

I have a best friend who loves me and may know me better than I know myself, and I appreciate her.

I have to make my own decisions and follow my gut – and heart.

I’ve made lifelong friends who continue to amaze me.

I love people and I’m constantly surprised by them; and I only hope they can be surprised by me.

I want love. I want a long lasting, life changing, epic love that will last a lifetime. Yeah, that’s a lotta l’s.

I love to travel, but not move.

I’m a strong, passionate, intense woman who has a thirst for life, knowledge, love, and the never-ending question of the meaning of life. I figure I’m bound to find it sooner or later.

Sincerely, in a love-hate way,
Nicki