4 Rules on How to Communicate More Effectively

People always talk about communicating more effectively, but I don’t think many of us truly understand what that really means.

I have to thank my best friend/roommate (and I do, regularly) for teaching me the value of communication. Before her, I really thought I was a decent communicator. She’s a natural communicator, but I think it’s the fact that she’s a teacher and has worked with children her entire life that’s taught her how to communicate so effectively with others.

You see, preparing children for the real world and teaching them about life also means instructing them on how to properly communicate with others.

Here are four rules I’ve learned.

1. Communicating what you expect from others means there are no surprises.

It may sound ridiculous or even a no brainer, but the moment you tell someone else what your expectations are is the moment that they’ll understand it. Otherwise, how would they really know?

Just as a boss lays out exact expectations of a job when you’re hired, it’s sometimes important to communicate certain expectations to friends, family, or anyone in your life.

Trust me, it’ll end up saving you any disappointment from having too high of expectations.

2. Over-communication is rarely a bad thing.

Sure, sharing a play-by-play of every moment in your life to every person you come across is overkill. (But who would have the time to do that, really?)

The fact of the matter is: when in doubt, share. Share your future plans with family or friends so they know what to expect – they’ll be interested to know what you have going on. Share your plan of action with coworkers – you never know if they have an idea or two that may make it even better.

Share anything that has to do with someone else in your life – it’s easy to forget about information when it happens quickly, but it’s better to share immediately and not get caught in the trap of “Oops, I mean to tell you that” later.

3. When in doubt, talk it out.

I believe one of the reasons that my best friend and I have such a strong relationship is because we are never mad at each other about anything for an extended period of time. If either one of us is mad, hurt, or upset about something, we always talk it out with each other.

I try to follow the same rule with everyone in my life: if something they did or said is bothering me, I try to talk to them about it right away. It may not always be easy to talk, but it always makes things better.

4. Good communication means good listening, too.

This rule can mean anything – from having a conversation with someone who’s uninterested to listening to a friend vent when they need to.

Communication is just as much about sharing as it is picking up on social queues; so that means a two-way street and giving as much as you’re taking.

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What are your tricks for communicating better with others?