“We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve.”

I recently saw “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” Above and beyond being a pretty powerful Indie flick, this one quote really struck me.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

The best part about this quote? It’s so unbelievably true.

Why do we only accept the love we think we deserve?

Because of our insecurities

These days, it seems insecurity plays a major role in how we view ourselves. For many of us – and I can really only speak for women here – confidence has fallen by the wayside in exchange for seeing all of our flaws.

Instead of seeing all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and unique things about ourselves, we zero in on the flaws.

The truth? Everyone has flaws and everyone has insecurities. Instead of focusing on how you wish we could lose a few pounds, why not appreciate your curves? Instead of focusing on how bad you are at math, why not remember how amazing at writing you are?

But it doesn’t end there. The key, above and beyond focusing on the positives; is also to remember that our “flaws” are what make us unique and what make us special.

Because we don’t truly believe we deserve a lot

Often when you only accept what you think you deserve…it ends up being far less than you actually deserve.

For whatever reason, many of us have lowered the bar. We’ll accept a romantic partner that is below our standards. We’ll accept behavior from friends that is unacceptable. We’ll accept less than we deserve in our lives.

Why? It’s hard to say “This is what I deserve.” But guess what? We need to. Guess why? Because you deserve a lot.