How to Be More Assertive

Lately, I’ve been making an honest effort to be a more assertive person.

I’ve always been agreeable and sometimes that comes at a cost to what I truly want…never what I believe in, but sometimes what I want.

If you’re looking to be more assertive, too, here are a few things you can do.

Stop using doubting words

Probably. Maybe. Possibly. Stop using them. Using words like this leaves doubt in yourself and any person you’re talking to. Instead, use commanding words (without being aggressive or passive aggressive) that show you know what you’re talking about and mean what you say.

Be confident

Confidence is really the key to being more assertive. But more than that, you have to know yourself well enough that you know what you want.

Be comfortable with communication

If you have a hard time communicating in general, then of course being assertive is going to be difficult. 

Practice better communication in all of your relationships and you’ll see a huge difference.

Feel your emotions…but don’t let them own you

If you’re mad, be mad. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re happy, be happy.

Another big key to being more assertive is knowing how you feel and being comfortable with it. The caveat? Don’t let your emotions control you.

Be willing to compromise without losing yourself

There are many types of unassertive people: some can’t communicate well, others over-compromise, and others still simply aren’t confident.

If you’re the type that isn’t used to compromise…get used to it. You win some and you lose some. The lesson is to know when you’re willing to compromise and when you’re unwilling to lose yourself and what you believe in.